Conflict Management Coaching

One leader’s challenge changed the direction of my career

Early in my career, one leader challenged everything I believed about myself. Working with a coach at that point showed me my own blind spots and triggers.

That experience is why I coach. It is also why I approach conflict with respect: the relationships that unsettle us most often carry the most useful information about how we lead.

Most leaders have a default response to conflict

Under pressure, we tend to fall back on a familiar pattern learned long before we became leaders. None of these patterns is wrong in itself. The problem comes when it is your only option.

What conflict management coaching works on

• ✦Recognising your own triggers and the moment your thinking narrows
• ✦Separating the issue from the person, so you can be firm on one and generous with the other
• ✦Spotting recurring roles, such as rescuer or persecutor, described in the drama triangle
• ✦Raising tension early, before it becomes a crisis
• ✦Repairing a relationship after a conflict has gone badly
• ✦Holding a position calmly with someone more senior, older or more powerful

Conflict looks different in Gulf workplaces

Where hierarchy and respect for seniority are strong, conflict often goes underground rather than disappearing. It shows up as silence in meetings, slow delivery or conversations held outside the room. In family-owned businesses, a work disagreement may also be a family one.

In multicultural teams, people carry different expectations about how openly disagreement should be voiced. Part of our work together is learning to read those signals and create the conditions for honest conversation. My article on healthy conflict in teams explores why some tension is useful.

We start with a live conflict, not a theory

In the first session you bring a current conflict, or one that keeps repeating. We look at what happened, what you felt, what you did and what you wish you had done. Then we look at the other person’s likely view, as honestly as you can manage.

From there we pick one step: a conversation to open, a reaction to notice or a boundary to set. Sessions are usually weekly or every two weeks, and the agenda follows what is happening in your working life.

Why my background suits conflict work

Over 26 years in leadership, HR and talent development, I supported executive teams through growth and transformation, and change of that kind rarely happens without disagreement. I know how conflict is handled, and mishandled, inside organisations.

I am an ICF PCC coach with more than 4,500 coaching hours, trained in executive, systemic and systemic team coaching. The systemic training helps us see when a conflict that looks personal is really being driven by structure, roles or competing priorities.

Coaching is not therapy or mediation

Conflict can bring up strong feelings, including anger and anxiety. Coaching works with your performance, thinking habits and behaviour; it is not therapy or medical treatment. If you are struggling with your mental health, please speak to a doctor or a licensed mental health professional. Coaching can sit alongside that care.

One-to-one coaching is also not mediation. I work with you, not with both parties. When conflict sits within a whole team, team conflict resolution is designed for that.