Emotional Agility
Emotional agility is the ability to notice your thoughts and feelings, including difficult ones, without being controlled by them, and to choose actions that fit your values. Psychologist Susan David introduced the term with Christina Congleton in a 2013 Harvard Business Review article and expanded it in her 2016 book Emotional Agility. For leaders, it means responding to pressure deliberately rather than reacting on autopilot.
Susan David built emotional agility on psychological flexibility
In their Harvard Business Review article, David and Congleton challenged the idea that negative thoughts and feelings have no place at work. Suppressing them, they argued, tends to make them louder, while being hooked by them leads to rigid behaviour.
The concept draws on acceptance and commitment approaches in psychology, particularly the idea of psychological flexibility associated with Steven Hayes and colleagues. Emotional agility translated those ideas into everyday language for working life.
Leaders practise emotional agility in four moves
Recognise your patterns
Notice when you are hooked: the same irritation in every budget meeting, the same story about a colleague.
Label thoughts and emotions
Name them precisely. "I am having the thought that this project will fail" creates distance that "this will fail" does not.
Accept them
Treat feelings as information, not instructions. Frustration may signal that something you value is at stake.
Act on your values
Choose the response that reflects the leader you want to be, even while the feeling is still there.
Example: a leader hooked by criticism in a board meeting
Imagine a chief operating officer whose proposal is questioned sharply by a board member. Her old pattern is to defend every point and leave angry. Practising emotional agility, she notices the heat rising, silently labels it ("I am feeling dismissed"), recognises that what she values is the project's success rather than winning the exchange, and asks the board member what would need to be true for him to support it. The feeling is still there; it simply no longer decides for her.
That gap between stimulus and choice is the focus of how to respond instead of react.
Emotional agility is not positive thinking or staying calm
The commonest misreading is that emotionally agile leaders feel only good emotions or always look composed. The idea is the opposite: you allow the full range of feelings and stop letting any one of them drive your behaviour. Forced positivity is a form of the rigidity it warns against.
Coaching can help you build emotional agility at work, but coaching is not therapy or medical treatment. If stress, anger or low mood is affecting your daily life, speak to a doctor or a licensed mental health professional; coaching can sit alongside that care.
Rula Husseini is an Executive Leadership & Mindset Coach (ICF PCC) based in Manama, Bahrain, with 26+ years in leadership, HR and talent development and 4,500+ coaching hours. She coaches executives, emerging leaders and teams in Arabic and English, in person and online.
Credentials and training →Frequently asked questions
How is emotional agility different from emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is a broad set of abilities for recognising and managing emotions in yourself and others. Emotional agility focuses on one part of that: how you relate to your own difficult thoughts and feelings so they do not dictate your actions. Emotional intelligence coaching covers both.
What is the quickest way to start practising emotional agility?
Start with labelling. When a strong reaction arrives, name it precisely before you act. The guide on managing emotional triggers at work gives more techniques, and the entry on amygdala hijack explains why the pause matters.
Related
Emotional Intelligence Coaching
Emotional intelligence coaching for leaders who want to manage triggers, stay steady under pressure and use empathy well. In person in Manama or online.
How to Manage Emotional Triggers at Work
How to manage emotional triggers at work: map what sets you off, steady yourself in the moment with words that buy time, and loosen the belief underneath.
How to Respond Instead of React
How to respond instead of react under pressure: a five-step pause, scripts that buy you time, and daily habits that widen the gap between trigger and action.
Amygdala Hijack
Amygdala hijack meaning and how to recover: why stress triggers fast reactions at work, what to do in the moment, and what the term oversimplifies.
Reframing
Reframing in coaching: what it means, where the technique came from, examples of context and meaning reframes, and when a reframe becomes spin.
Every transformation starts with one conversation.
Your first 1:1 Discovery Call is free. Thirty minutes, no pressure — just an honest look at where you are and where you could go.