Three-Way Coaching Agreements

Three parties, three different stakes

In sponsored coaching, the sponsor is usually the coachee's line manager, sometimes with HR alongside. Each party contributes something the others cannot, and the agreement makes those contributions explicit.

Sponsors stay involved through a few planned conversations

Sponsor involvement works best when it is predictable. Rather than ad hoc check-ins, I build a small number of three-way conversations into the engagement from the start.

1. 01

   Opening meeting

   The sponsor explains why the organisation is investing, the coachee shares their own view, and together we agree two or three goals and how success will be recognised.

2. 02

   Midpoint review

   The coachee leads a short conversation on progress. The sponsor offers feedback on what they are noticing and whether the goals still fit.

3. 03

   Closing meeting

   We review change against the original goals and agree how the sponsor will support the coachee after coaching ends.

Where the confidentiality line falls

The clearest agreements spell out exactly what crosses the line and what does not. This is the boundary I propose, and we confirm it in writing.

• ✦Shared with the sponsor: the agreed goals, attendance, progress themes the coachee chooses to raise in three-way meetings, and the closing review.
• ✦Not shared: what is said in sessions, the coachee's personal reflections, their views on colleagues or the sponsor, and any assessment or notes I hold.
• ✦Coachee in control: the coachee can always choose to share more themselves. I do not share on their behalf.
• ✦No private reports: I do not hold separate conversations with the sponsor about the coachee outside the agreed meetings.

When a sponsor asks for more than was agreed

Occasionally a sponsor contacts me between meetings to ask how things are going, or to share a concern. I welcome the context, because it can be useful, but I will not report back on sessions. Instead, I encourage the sponsor to raise the point directly with the coachee or in the next three-way meeting.

I am also transparent with the coachee that the contact happened. That transparency is what keeps trust intact on both sides. The ICF Code of Ethics sets out the confidentiality standards I work to as a credentialed coach.

Mistakes that weaken sponsored coaching

• ✦Sending someone to coaching without telling them clearly why, so they suspect a hidden agenda.
• ✦Setting goals the coachee has not genuinely agreed to.
• ✦Treating the coach as an assessor who will report on the coachee's suitability.
• ✦Leaving the sponsor out entirely, so nobody inside the organisation reinforces the change.
• ✦Agreeing confidentiality verbally and never writing it down.

Why I hold this line firmly

I spent the early part of my career in HR and talent management, so I understand why sponsors want visibility. I also know, from more than 4,500 hours as a coach, that people only change what they can talk about honestly.

A well-built three-way agreement serves the organisation better than a reporting relationship ever could. For the general principles behind agreements, see what a coaching agreement is, and for the coachee's side of confidentiality, is executive coaching confidential. My full approach is on coaching confidentiality and ethics.